The word coach has a different meaning to many of us. Some think that a coach is your biggest cheerleader; their job is to be there to support you and cheer you forward. While it is true that a coach provides support, this support is balanced by constantly challenging the clients and asking the hard questions. A coach helps you see your own blind spots! Now if they only cheered you on, how would you find those spots?
One of the things I struggle with as a coach is showing empathy rather than sympathy. In my mind, empathy is showing the client that I feel their pain, not that I agree with it. Empathy can be helpful and can build trust. Sympathy in the other hand can be detrimental to the client’s progress. Sympathy implies that we AGREE with their pain and suffering. If as coaches we agree with our client’s suffering, we are unlikely to help them gain awareness of their mind traps that contribute to their suffering. For example, I had a client who was complaining about how her boss asked her to see more patients in clinic rather than perform certain procedures. She felt that her boss was being selfish in wanting to keep more lucrative procedures for himself. Now, that was her simple story; what she made the situation mean. I can show empathy and agree that having this though is causing her pain. But showing sympathy and agreeing that her boss is selfish will not serve the client and will reinforce her mind trap.

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